


we’re not built to love and run

by manzini (writtendlessly)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (alec calls magnus a slut a few times), (briefly) - Freeform, Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Bottom Magnus Bane, Dirty Talk, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fingering, Friends With Benefits, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, M/M, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mutual Pining, Panty Kink, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Magic Reveal, Top Alec Lightwood, Warlock Magnus Bane, and here's the awkward part where i tag any kinky stuff so nobody is blindsided, cis magnus bane, sorry i forgot these tags until now:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 03:56:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writtendlessly/pseuds/manzini
Summary: Ever since their first meeting at the Institute, Alec and Magnus have had a friends-with-benefits arrangement. When Magnus’ friends demand to know who’s taking up all his time, he lies about a boyfriend. Alec agrees to the fake relationship, but is Magnus really pretending to love him?
Relationships: Alternate Magnus Bane/Alternate Alec Lightwood (Shadowhunters: This World Inverted), Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 36
Kudos: 439





	we’re not built to love and run

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Thomston’s song “Casual”. 
> 
> Note: My other AU!Malec fics are vaguely connected to each other, but this exists outside of those!

"_Alec_," Magnus gasps, pushing his hips back into Alec's thrusts. He doesn't have much leverage from this position, face down ass up as always, but he gives it his best effort. He can tell Alec appreciates it from the way he grips Magnus' hips harder, and lingers on the next thrust to grind against his prostate. 

But Magnus wasn't just saying his name as an exclamation of pleasure, he actually has something he wants to say.

"Alec, I need to ask you something."

"Right _now_?" Alec replies incredulously. His thrusts slow down slightly, but he seems unable to completely stop. He leans forward to plaster his chest to Magnus' back, wrapping an arm around his waist to press them even closer together. When he speaks next, it's directly in Magnus' ear. "What is it? Do you wanna stop?"

Magnus is quick to reply, "No! Don't!"

Alec grins against the bare skin of his shoulder. Somehow it feels filthier when he's pressed this close, when every inch of Magnus is touching Alec and he feels completely closed in. He has to bat Alec's hand away from his dick, or he'll come before he gets to ask his question.

"Can you— can you come to a dinner with me?" Magnus asks, breaking off into a moan halfway through when Alec grinds forward again. "I need a date."

Alec shifts his weight to his knees so he's free to use his other arm, the one not already wrapped around Magnus, to reach for his cock again. He toys with the head of it, just light touches with his fingertips and palm. The movement is almost reminiscent of the absent-minded fidgeting Alec does when he's thinking. 

They don't spend too much time together outside of the bedroom, and even when they do it's mostly just to eat, or to chat about their lives and pretend like they're not dying to get naked already. But they've hooked up enough times since the start of this friends-with-benefits thing that Magnus has had time to catalogue his habits.

When Alec senses his mind straying, he wraps a hand fully around Magnus and gives a few quick jerks. Magnus can't help but clench tighter around him.

"You want to take me to dinner?" Alec asks, and he sounds like he's laughing. _Of course_, Magnus thinks, _the thought of going on a date with me is laughable_. Normally the melancholy doesn't come until after they're finished, but it seems fate has been fucking with him a lot these days. Which brings him back to his current predicament.

"No, no," Magnus says, fighting every instinct that tells him to say _yes_. "I just need a fake date for dinner with my friends. I—_fuck_, Alec—I told them I had a boyfriend."

Alec is very familiar with the pretend-to-date-someone game, so he doesn't even question it. Even as Magnus was speaking he was making long, languid thrusts into him, so he's a bit distracted anyway.

"Sure," Alec says, and that's that. He changes the topic quickly, movements more desperate now that he's getting close and the conversation is over, "Fuck, you gonna come for me?"

Magnus moans in response and Alec keeps going. They both know his dirty talk is usually what sends Magnus over the edge.

"You feel so good, so tight for me," Alec tightens the arm wrapped around Magnus and reaches his other hand down, past his cock and balls. He rubs along Magnus' rim, where he's stretched wide around Alec. "No one else fucks you like this. No one else gets to see you this desperate, crying and begging like a slut."

Magnus doesn't have a response to that, but he moans and whines and it's answer enough. Alec always starts saying the possessive stuff when he's close to coming and it helps bring Magnus to the same point quickly. Alec pushes against him a little harder, starts sliding in a finger alongside his dick. 

Magnus cries out at the additional stretch and Alec moans, finger slipping back out and then gripping Magnus tight enough that it's slightly too much pressure as he jerks Magnus off. Alec's thrusts become shorter; quick, powerful jolts of his hips that push Magnus up towards the headboard. Magnus can barely focus on what Alec is saying, but he can hear, "So good for me, Magnus. Fuck, gonna come, gonna— such a good slut, _my_ slut."

Alec rubs the palm of his hand on the head of Magnus' cock again and that combined with his words has Magnus coming. He cries out, "Alec!" and comes over Alec's fingers, burying his head further into his folded arms to hide the few tears he can't control. 

Alec bites his shoulder and keeps jerking Magnus off even as it starts getting to be too much. But Magnus loves the pleasure-pain of the oversensitivity and he keeps pushing forward into Alec's hand, then backwards onto his cock. Alec is barely thrusting now, mostly just grinding into him as he groans Magnus' name and finally comes, rutting into Magnus with every pulse of his orgasm. Magnus finds himself wishing, not for the first time, that they were exclusive and could go without a condom. 

Magnus collapses down onto his stomach, uncaring of the mess, and rests as Alec pulls out and disposes of the condom. When he comes back to the bed he turns Magnus over, wipes him down, and settles in next to him. They don't cuddle, not really, but Magnus appreciates the illusion of closeness in the afterglow. 

"When's the dinner?" Alec asks, suddenly, and Magnus spends a good minute trying to remember what the hell he's talking about. 

When he remembers, Magnus mumbles out, "Next Sunday, at six," and loses himself to sleep when Alec doesn't respond.

The whole reason Magnus is in this situation is because, two weeks ago, his friends cornered him. Which makes it sound dramatic, but Magnus can't think of any other way to describe how they all came to his apartment after business hours, and demanded an explanation.

"We haven't seen you in ages!" Catarina complains, lightly smacking him on the shoulder to express her displeasure. Magnus feels like it hasn't been _that_ long, and says as such. 

"I think all those night shifts have gone to your head, dear, because I saw Raphael just last week."

As he expected, the deflection doesn't work. 

"Delivering a potion order doesn't count," Raphael says with his usual even tone, though Magnus is sure he's sulking. "It wasn't even my order."

"You're welcome to order from me any time you'd like," Magnus smiles. Ragnor stares him down with such a look of annoyance that the smile fades fast.

"Fine," he drops himself unceremoniously onto his couch, startling Church. Church runs off and Magnus watches him go longingly, thinking, _even my cat has abandoned me in my time of need_. "What do you want then?"

"We're having dinner," Ragnor says. He gestures towards Raphael. "Raph's hosting, but we're all bringing something."

Ragnor turns to face Raphael as he continues, "Because, no offense my boy, but no one wants blood-infused tamales."

Raphael just rolls his eyes. 

"No pressure," Catarina speaks up as she sits down beside him. She's speaking softly, like she's trying not to spook him. "Just bring some snacks and we can talk, it's been too long."

"_Much_ too long," Ragnor agrees. "What has been keeping you away for so long?"

Magnus thinks of Alec and the arrangement they have that brings him to his apartment almost every other night. He keeps cancelling plans with them because Alec will text him something like _Can I come by tonight? _or _What are you doing right now? _or _How do you feel about edging?_ and suddenly Magnus has a free schedule. _What a coincidence_, he usually tells Alec, but he's sure even Alec doesn't buy it anymore.

They look at him expectantly, and Raphael must hear the way his heart picks up because he smirks, in the way only a bratty child can do, and says, "Or _who_?"

Magnus goes slightly red before he can attempt a glamor to hide it and his friends are immediately bombarding him with questions. Magnus manages to skirt around the details, but he does reveal they've been "together" for two months and he's a mundane who doesn't know about the Shadow World yet. When Catarina gets nosy about the details of this man (which Ragnor and Raphael decidedly tune out), Magnus has no trouble describing Alec.

"He's so _tall_, Cat, even taller than me, with dark hair and hazel eyes. He has this tattoo on his ribs, right below his pec, and _god_ don't get me started on his _chest_—"

"Okay, we get it, you're in love," Ragnor cuts him off before he can get too detailed, even if Catarina seems interested. 

Magnus splutters, quick to defend himself, "Love? What? No, we're just— It's only been a few weeks..."

"Sure, Magnus," Raphael says and Magnus glares. _First my cat betrays me, and now my own child_, he thinks.

Catarina, his only _real_ friend among all these assholes he associates with, tries to comfort him, "It's fine, Magnus, you don't have to explain anything."

Magnus smiles at her in thanks. She probably knows better than all of them how quickly he opens his heart to others, and how many times he's been burned by it. But he's not in _love_ with his fuck buddy, for christ's sake, he just thinks Alec is handsome and charming. 

"Now tell us again about Alec's _dreamy hazel eyes_?" Catarina continues with a grin, using a sort of lovesick tone of voice. 

Magnus takes back any nice thing he has ever said about her. 

Of course Magnus' luck just keeps getting worse, because Alec is so busy with work and family obligations that they don't meet at all that week.

Alec continues to send him dirty texts about what he would do if he was there, and Magnus brings out his rather extensive dildo collection in response, but Magnus doesn't see him again until the night of the dinner.

They had decided to meet up early, at Magnus' place, before going to Ragnor's apartment together. Raphael was still the host, technically, but they quickly realized they couldn't bring a mundane to the Dumort. Ragnor offered up his home, albeit reluctantly, and even agreed to send any magical artifacts to his London house for the night. 

Alec knocks on his door two hours before they need to arrive, already fully dressed and ready to go. Magnus is used to seeing him after work, when his hair is mussed from running his fingers through it and his tie is loose around his neck, so he's surprised to see Alec so done up.

Surprised and _horny_, to be clear, but they don't have time for that.

"Come in, come in! I'm still getting ready," Magnus says, pulling him in and closing the door behind him. Now that Alec's here the reality of this stupid con is hitting him, and he's stressed. 

Alec looks him up and down, lingering on his bare feet and half done-up shirt and laughs, "Clearly."

Magnus huffs and turns to head back to his bedroom. Alec instinctually follows him, but Magnus stops him with a hand against his chest, "No, you stand outside the door."

Alec frowns, nearly a pout, and Magnus explains, "We need to come up with our story and I can't get... distracted."

Alec's expression completely reverses, and he's grinning as he steps into Magnus' space, touching his exposed collar bone, "Are you sure? We still have a few hours."

Magnus leans forward without even noticing it, but quickly snaps out of it, taking a big enough step backwards that he bumps into the doorframe.

"None of that, Lightwood! Stay out here."

"Fine, fine," Alec rolls his eyes and leans against the wall next to the door. Magnus stares at him for a moment, only breaking out of his reverie when Alec raises his eyebrows at him.

They spend the next thirty minutes discussing the details of their "relationship". They stick with the original meeting story, at the institute party, which works especially well because Magnus already told his friends about the visitor from another dimension. They decide to skip the part where Alec fucked him in an empty room in the basement, as well as when Magnus invited him home and then they fucked two more times. 

Alec suggests the idea that he made an appointment with Magnus and then asked him on a date after the tarot reading and Magnus adds the detail that the cards told him about "love in unexpected places." They invent a few date stories, and then they play a sort of twenty questions game so they can act like they know more about each other than just their kinks.

About forty minutes later, they have a fairly complete story and Magnus has an outfit he feels happy with. It's not like he's a fashionista or anything, but something about the whole situation has him worrying about every detail. It doesn't help that Alec came in a classic black suit, looking like he had just stepped out of a magazine. How can Magnus compete with that? How can he make his friends believe a person like _Alec_ would actually date him?

When he walks out of his room, Alec is still where Magnus left him, though he's more slouched against the wall than he was before. Alec takes in his appearance—dark pants, a burgundy button-up tucked into them—and he whistles. When Alec's eyes meet his face he suddenly looks confused, eyes squinting in concentration. Magnus' chest feels tight. _Does he really look that bad?_

"Your eyes are different," Alec declares. Magnus' stomach drops and his heart is pounding, _did he forget his glamor? _

But Alec doesn't look scared or horrified, and instead he says, "Do you have eyeliner on?"

The relief hits him like a truck and now that he's not panicking, he can sense the ever-present glamor that is still in place over his real eyes. He nods shyly, unable to explain why exactly he picked up the old brown pencil on his dresser and decided to use it.

"It's nice," Alec smiles at him, nodding back as if giving his approval. "You look good." 

Magnus reminds himself _this is a fake relationship, it's not real_ and chokes out, "Thank you, Alec."

They travel in Alec's car, a sleek sports car that probably costs too much money, and even with the planning (and Alec's insistence that he blows Magnus before they leave) they still arrive twenty minutes early. Magnus goes ahead of him, knocking on Ragnor's apartment door as Alec carries the bags of food. Magnus had told him not to worry about it, that he would make a dish to bring for both of them, but Alec still showed up holding a mysterious bag with a large container of _something_ hidden inside and refused to let Magnus see it. 

The door swings open and Raphael is there, looking much less grumpy than usual and wearing an _apron_. Magnus is so shocked by this fact that he almost misses the way Raphael looks between them, sniffs the air, and turns away in disgust. Magnus knows exactly what he realized, and he turns to Alec to see the other man frowning.

"Did I upset him already?" Alec asks, sounding disappointed. 

Magnus leads him into the apartment with a hand on his arm and reassures, "He's always like that." 

They make their way to the kitchen, where Raphael now also has _oven mitts _on, and Magnus forces Alec to sit at the island while he opens up the bags of food. Magnus pulls out a container of _beef_ _rendang_ he made the day before and then Alec's mystery tray. He can feel Alec's eyes on him as he takes the lid off and sees a variety of cookies inside.

"I can't make much," Alec explains sheepishly. "But everyone likes cookies, right? I made a bunch of different kinds because I didn't know what everyone liked."

Some of the cookies look a little too dark, and most are oddly shaped, but Magnus can't resist smiling at him, "Thank you, Alec, they're lovely."

Raphael scoffs from his place at the stove, mixing a big pot that smells delicious. Magnus glares at the back of his head and tries to telepathically tell him _you better try to eat at least one._

Catarina and Ragnor show up a few minutes later and it's only when he sees them come in that he remembers that this isn't Raphael's home. When asked where they were, Catarina pulls out a couple of bottles of wine from the bag she was carrying. She claims they went to the store to pick them up, but Magnus knows they portaled directly to France to get them. It's a nice gesture, though, getting the good alcohol for Alec.

Raphael finishes up his cooking and they settle around the table, with Ragnor at the head ("It's still _my_ apartment.") and Cat and Raphael sitting across from Alec and Magnus. Magnus explains all the dishes to Alec—the _rendang_ he made, the _pozole_ that had been on the stove when they arrived, the small plate of blood-infused _tamales_ in front of Raphael, the platter of tiny tacos. Alec nods, asks questions when appropriate, and then proceeds to absolutely stuff his face.

Magnus is almost embarrassed, but Raphael seems pleased at all the compliments and satisfied noises from Alec throughout the meal. They ask him the customary 'meet the boyfriend' questions, and between bites he tells them about his job, his siblings, growing up in New York. They all finish eating before Alec, and as he's finishing up, Catarina suggests retiring to the living room for wine and Alec's cookies.

She pours out glasses for all of them, except Raphael, as Alec helps gather the dirty dishes and Magnus carries them to the kitchen. Ragnor suggests that Magnus get the container of cookies while he's there, and in his absence Ragnor and Catarina trap Alec on the couch between them. Raphael takes an armchair, and Magnus stares in disbelief when he returns.

"Let me sit with him," Magnus insists, depositing the cookies on the coffee table. "He's _my_ boyfriend."

Alec grins up at him, and the words he just said combined with that look from Alec has Magnus feeling weak. Weak enough that when Catarina refuses and tells him to sit in the remaining armchair, he does so without any further protest.

"So, Alec," she begins, not even attempting to hide the mischief in her voice. "What are your intentions with our beloved Magnus?"

"Cat!" Magnus protests, but she ignores him.

Alec looks to his left at Ragnor, then to his right at Catarina, and simply says, "I intend to love him." 

Magnus' eyes go wide, and Raphael shoots him a look at the way his heart rate goes into overdrive. Even when they were planning out this farce of a relationship, they never said _love_. They were supposed to only be dating for two months!

Ragnor fakes a gagging noise and retorts, "How do we know you're not just with him for his body?"

Magnus protests again, "Ragnor!" and he still remains ignored. 

"I'm definitely a fan of his body," Alec agrees. He looks at Magnus with a hungry grin, and at least Magnus knows _that_ isn't faked, because he's seen it many times before. "But that's not even in the top ten."

"Oh?" Catarina prompts.

"It's not an official ranking," Alec laughs, taking a sip of his wine and watching Magnus over the rim of the glass. He looks away and towards Cat as he answers. "I like his laugh, his eyes, his intelligence. I like the way he smiles at me when I come over to visit. I even like his cute little snores that sound like purring."

Magnus feels confused at first, because part of their arrangement was that Alec never sleeps over. But then he remembers every time Alec had edged him until he cried, or made him come three times in one night, and realizes that Alec must be talking about when Magnus dozes after being thoroughly fucked out. 

The next feeling is offense because, "I don't snore, Alec! And I definitely don't _purr_!"

Surprisingly, it's Ragnor who bursts out laughing first.

"Oh, I like you," he says, but he's looking at Magnus as he says it. "Finally someone worth keeping around. Has Magnus ever told you about our time in Spain?"

Alec perks up at the question and Magnus shoots Ragnor his deadliest glare, "It's nothing interesting. Just a rather _mundane_ trip."

Magnus puts as much stress on "mundane" as possible, in case somehow Ragnor forgot that all their crazy adventures were from centuries ago and involved Seelie alcohol and questionable uses of magic. In the end, Catarina saves him.

"Leave Magnus alone, Ragnor," she chides. Magnus opens his mouth to thank her before she continues. "Besides, I have something even better than stories... _pictures_."

Catarina then proceeds to show Alec every single photo of Magnus she has and Magnus would be impressed at the sheer amount of pictures if he wasn't dying inside. Alec is swiping through the pictures on her phone when he stops and grins.

"You're so cute!" Alec declares and turns the phone around to show Magnus. He's wearing bunny ears and makeup on his nose and cheeks to make him look more like a rabbit. "I know I said you purr, but you're definitely more of a bunny than a cat!"

Raphael chuckles, "I don't know, I think he's _very_ cat-like."

"Raphael," Magnus warns. Why are all his friends so insistent on toeing the line in the presence of a mundane? 

Raphael shrugs, the picture of nonchalance, and says, "Just my opinion." 

Magnus gulps down the rest of his wine in an attempt to make it through this night without going insane. 

Magnus survives, even as his friends regale Alec with countless embarrassing stories, and he only feels relief when Alec is driving him home a few hours later. Magnus has the container of leftover cookies on his lap and the car ride is silent. Magnus can't tell if it's companionable silence or awkward, and he has no idea where this evening is going.

When they get to Magnus' apartment, Alec pulls into the parking lot instead of dropping Magnus off at the curb, and that answers Magnus' question. 

"Can I come up?" Alec asks, his expression somewhere between the calm happiness at Ragnor's place and the strong desire Magnus is used to seeing from him.

Magnus says, "Of course," as if he could say anything else.

They make it as far as his bedroom door before Alec is shoving him against the wall, mouthing at his jaw and neck.

"Fuck, you looked so good tonight," Alec tells him before putting one hand on the side of his neck and kissing him. Alec kisses like he fucks, forceful and overwhelming in the best way possible, but broken up with moments of slow tenderness. 

Alec grabs one of Magnus' thighs, pulling his leg up to wrap around Alec. Magnus has to stand up on his toes to get the angle right, but then their hips grind together and the mild discomfort is worth it.

"Keep thinking about you in those costumes," Alec says when he comes up for air. Magnus isn't exactly sure what pictures Catarina has, but given the number of costume parties he's been to over the centuries, he can only imagine. "The cat ears, the little skirts..."

Alec pushes Magnus' jacket off impatiently, then starts fumbling at the buttons of his shirt. 

"What do I gotta do to get you in something pretty for me?" He asks, and Magnus thinks _not much_, but Alec thrusts forward and Magnus moans instead of responding. "I'm thinking silk panties, maybe thigh-highs."

Magnus whines, hips jerking forward without his control. It's difficult to form thoughts with Alec on him like this, but he manages to say, "I have some things already."

Magnus has barely finished his sentence before Alec is kissing him again, this time much slower and thorough. Alec gets a hand under his shirt and rubs at Magnus' nipples. Alec moves back to his neck, sucking and biting little marks down his throat and clavicle and he asks, "You wearing 'em right now?"

He's not, but he also has magic at his disposal. Magnus moves his hand in a loose gesture behind Alec's head—and when did he even wrap his arms around Alec?—and his boxer briefs are replaced with a pair of black silk panties from the back of his closet.

"Maybe," Magnus finally answers. It's a bit too late, as Alec has already unbuttoned his pants and revealed the smooth fabric. Alec's fingers slide along the lacy edge and he groans, digging the fingers of his other hand into Magnus' ass over his pants. 

"Fuck, come on," Alec says as he steps back, pulling Magnus away from the wall and guiding him into the room. Magnus falls backwards onto his bed and looks up at Alec as he quickly undresses. Magnus undresses too, and when Alec is nearly fully naked, Magnus turns over and gets on his hands and knees.

Alec settles in behind him, running his hands up the back of Magnus' thighs, over his ass, then up his back. He does this a few times, muttering about how sexy Magnus is all spread out for him, and then his hands settle on Magnus' ass. He grips a cheek firmly in each hand, spreading them apart and then letting go, repeating the action a few more times. 

Magnus keeps moaning, even though Alec isn't touching him anywhere he _wants_ to be touched. But something about Alec's movements, his silence, makes Magnus feel like a toy just ready to be used by Alec and it makes him so hot, pre-come dripping onto the sheets below him. Alec moves off the bed again, gone for just a moment, and when he comes back he's immediately sliding his dick between Magnus' cheeks, holding them together to get more friction.

Idly, Magnus notices the condom and realizes that's what Alec did when he stepped away, but he stops thinking about it when Alec abruptly flips him over. Magnus can't help but moan at the manhandling, even if he's confused.

The confusion must show on his face because Alec explains, "Wanna do it like this tonight."

In all the weeks they've been fooling around, they've never fucked face-to-face. Part of it is just because of the scenarios they find themselves in, with Alec often shoving Magnus against walls or bending him over furniture.

But the other part of it is that it's less intimate that way, and Magnus needs the distance between them so he can remember that this is fucking but it's not dating. _One soul at a time_, he always says, and despite the reputation of warlocks, he was never a hook-up kind of guy. 

And Alec is _so_ good to him. He knows everything Magnus wants before he can say it, and then he makes Magnus say it anyway because he knows they both get off on it. He takes care of Magnus after tying him up, cleans up his come with a wet towel or his mouth. And tonight? Tonight was like a dream, one that Magnus would never admit to having, where Alec was charming and caring towards his friends and talking about how much he loved Magnus. 

When Magnus is lost in his head and doesn't respond, Alec looks down at him in concern, rubbing circles into the skin of his inner thigh.

"Is it okay like this?" Alec asks and Magnus just nods, doesn't trust himself to speak. At his approval, Alec gets back to work.

Alec grabbed lube when he left to get the condom, so in no time at all he's got slick fingers between Magnus' legs. Alec is settled on his knees between Magnus' thighs, one hand on Magnus' waist and another teasing around his rim, the soft skin behind his balls. 

Magnus breathes out, "_please,_" and Alec slides a finger in. At the same time he moves his hand to the mattress next to Magnus' head, using it to hold his weight as he kisses Magnus again. The movement drives his finger in even further and Magnus moans into Alec's mouth. Alec moves up to two fingers and it's barely a kiss anymore, just them panting and moaning against each other's mouths.

Alec rubs his dick against the crease where Magnus' thigh meets his waist as he adds a third finger.

"Alec, just fuck me already," Magnus complains and Alec laughs.

"If you're speaking so clearly, I'm not doing a good enough job."

Alec adds his pinky as well, the fourth finger providing enough stretch to have Magnus arching back off the sheets and grinding down against him. Alec curls his fingers, searching, and when he hits his mark Magnus nearly screams.

"Alec, Alec, Alec," Magnus babbles. He feels emotionally drained and yet physically energized and he just needs Alec to _fuck him_. Instead, Alec pulls his fingers out and Magnus whines some more, tries to grab his wrist to hold them in.

"Need to take 'em out if I'm gonna fuck you, baby," Alec says and Magnus freezes. Alec's brain catches up to his mouth and then he freezes too, in the middle of lubing up his cock. 

"Sorry," Alec says, and Magnus doesn't know what exactly he's apologizing for, the accidental pet name or the way Magnus' heart races at the sound of it. But if he lingers on it for too long he'll start crying, and not in the fun, desperately fucked-out way, so he surges up to kiss Alec instead.

Magnus mutters small reassurances between kisses (though if they're directed at Alec or himself, he's not sure) and finally, _finally_ Alec gets on with it.

"Fuck, yeah," Alec groans as he bottoms out. "God, it's so good every time. You're so hot."

Magnus has his legs wrapped around Alec's waist, so he uses his position to push Alec forward into him even further. They moan in unison at the action and Alec doesn't move except for small little grinding motions he seems unaware of. 

Alec pants into his neck and grips Magnus so hard he'll be covered in bruises the next morning. When Alec seems to pull himself back from the edge, he repositions Magnus to have his legs over Alec's shoulders and then he gives Magnus everything he's got. 

When Magnus comes, he's noisy but he doesn't talk. Alec, instead, rambles on with his usual string of praises. Magnus is nearly there when Alec starts coming, so he's largely unaware of what Alec is saying.

But then Alec goes, "fuck, shit, bab— _Magnus_," and meets Magnus' eyes and Magnus is coming harder than he can ever remember doing in his entire life. When the haze of an orgasm clears from his mind, all Magnus can feel is dread. Alec had fucked him face-to-face, accidentally called him baby, and all of this after completely charming his friends and pretending to be his boyfriend. 

Magnus is so hopelessly, desperately in love with Alec and there's no way Alec feels the same, not with the way he's already cleaning up and gathering his clothes, looking for a way out of this situation.

It's the tension between them, and Magnus' already forming heartbreak, that causes Magnus to say, "Maybe we should take a break for a bit."

Alec freezes for a split second, short enough that Magnus questions if it even happened, and then he continues with pulling on his pants and buttoning up his shirt. 

"If that's what you want," Alec says and all Magnus wants to know is what _Alec_ wants, but the truth of it might hurt more than anything Magnus could do. 

"Just for now," Magnus reassures, but it's directed more at himself. "My friends are already suspicious, and I should probably focus more on my work."

Alec says, "okay," and even though he doesn't leave for another thirty minutes, it's the only thing he says the rest of the night. 

Magnus spends the week after the dinner wallowing in self-pity around his apartment, trying to convince himself that he had made the right choice. It was supposed to be just fooling around and Magnus, as always, let himself get attached. Alec wasn't interested in a relationship with him, so it's best he ends it now before he does something stupid like believe he had a chance with Alec.

It's all the more painful that now he _knows_ what Alec would be like as a boyfriend. He knows what it sounds like when Alec compliments him and says he loves him, what it feels like when Alec looks at him with an emotion other than lust in his eyes. 

When his friends invite him and Alec to a movie night that weekend in their group chat, it's just another reminder of how good an actor Alec is that even his closest friends were fooled. Is it any wonder that Magnus fell for it, fell for _him_, too? 

Magnus ignores the message and throws himself into his work, producing potions and salves without anyone even ordering them. He ends up with a decent stock of items and he contemplates, not for the first time, the idea of opening a storefront for his business. 

The weekend comes and goes and Magnus doesn't show up to the movie night. His friends keep texting him, making Magnus wonder if they were even watching a movie, but he ignores most of them. When he replies, it's just to say: _busy with work, next time._

He should've known that the excuse wasn't going to cut it for long, especially with the way Alec won them over in only a few hours. He can't stop thinking about how Catarina had pulled him aside, presumably to let Ragnor and Raphael have a moment with Alec, and told him _he's good for you_ and _you're happy_. 

So it only makes sense that she the one who portals outside his front door and demands to be let in.

"Magnus, I'm worried about you," she says through the door. "Please just talk to me. Or Raph or someone."

Magnus hates making her worried, especially when she already has a stressful nursing job and children to raise, so he opens the door.

She takes one look at him and says, voice full of all the despair that Magnus currently feels, "Oh, _sweetheart_."

She turns mother-hen quickly, making him sit on the couch and conjuring a pot of tea. When Magnus is sufficiently babied, cup of tea in hand, she starts the questioning.

"What happened, Magnus? Did you break up?"

Magnus shakes his head because it's not a break up if they weren't dating to begin with. 

"Then what is it?" Catarina pushes, seemingly _more_ concerned that it's not something as easy to deal with as a break-up. "Did Alec do something?"

"No," he replies, then he reconsiders. "Well, yes, but— Not exactly—"

Catarina puts a hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture, and suddenly the floodgates are open. 

"We weren't dating, Cat, it was all a lie," he confesses. Catarina looks confused, but doesn't interrupt. "We just had sex, that's why I kept cancelling plans. I was going to tell you guys, but then you all seemed so happy I had a boyfriend, and the lie kept spiralling."

Magnus trails off, but Catarina can read him better than anyone on this planet and she picks up the problem easily. 

"But you're in love with him?"

His only response is a small sob and she wraps him in her arms immediately. 

Ten, maybe twenty, minutes later, he's all cried out and exhausted. Catarina had been murmuring words of comfort the whole time and rubbing circles on his back. When it seems Magnus has calmed down enough to listen, she starts talking.

"Magnus, do you remember what I told you that night?" Catarina asks. 

Magnus nods against her shoulder and mumbles, "Good for me_."_

"When I was talking to you, the boys were with Alec," she explains. "Ragnor told me afterwards what they talked about—_you_, of course."

Magnus isn't sure he wants to hear what Alec said about him. _He was acting_, he tries to remember, but he's equal parts scared and excited nonetheless.

"Ragnor came to me and said '_that boy adores him'_. He sounded impressed, Magnus, and you know how he is about your relationships."

Magnus knows very well how Ragnor hides his protectiveness for his friends behind a veil of scathing judgment. Ragnor never liked Imasu or Camille and he only barely tolerated George. Magnus had just assumed no one would ever be good enough for Ragnor's standards. Leave it to Alec, his _fake_ boyfriend, to prove him wrong.

"Even Raphael liked him," Catarina continues. Magnus makes a small noise, a sort of disbelieving scoff, and Cat clarifies. "Well, okay, he tolerated him, but that's more than I expected from him."

It's silent for a moment and Magnus asks, voice small and exhausted, "And you?"

Catarina sighs and Magnus' heart sinks. Even if it wasn't real, even if their arrangement was over, he still hoped Cat would approve. He's not exactly sure why anymore.

"Magnus, I've prayed for years now for you to meet someone like him. Someone who loves every part of you, who looks at you like you're a miracle."

Magnus makes a strangled sound, finally pulling away from her to wrap his arms around himself. He can't face her when she says things like this. 

"He doesn't," Magnus insists. 

"Magnus, he _does_," Catarina puts her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. Her expression is fierce and determined, seemingly out of place for such an emotional conversation. He feels himself tearing up again, cursing his weakness, and her face softens. 

She almost looks ashamed as she said, "I wasn't going to tell you this, but I did a few spells on him."

"Catarina!" 

"Nothing bad! Just some stuff that I've learned to keep on hand. Purity of heart, evil intentions, that sort of thing."

Magnus laughs, though it's bitter and not amused, "Those spells don't do anything."

"Then you don't want to know my conclusion?" She smiles, and Magnus feels relieved that their friendly banter hasn't waned at all.

He moves out of the grip of her hands, visibly closing off and trying to protect his heart. She hates to see his body language become guarded like that, so she continues quickly, "Magnus, I think he loves you, too."

Magnus flinches like she punched him.

"I can't risk my heart on something so fickle as _thoughts_, dear." The pet name is another defensive move, meant to annoy her and thus distract her. But she doesn't fall for it.

"So you'll risk calcifying instead?"

"It's not that ba—"

"Don't bullshit me, Magnus," she snaps, and he shuts his mouth. The fierce expression is back. "If you really want to be with him, you have to take a chance. _Talk_ to him, at the very least. He deserves to know the truth." 

"And if you're wrong?" Magnus asks.

"Then I'll buy you any bottle of wine you want and we'll drink it together," she offers. Magnus laughs, so full of love for his friends that know when to comfort him and when to kick his ass. Catarina takes his expression to mean he's agreed and she's pulling him up from the couch and shoving him towards the door before he can think. 

She insists he makes a portal ("If you walk there, you'll chicken out.") and she watches him as he goes as if she's watching her son go to his first day of school. 

Magnus has only been to Alec's apartment once, as it's much smaller than his and they both agreed the loft would be better for their _activities_. Magnus remembers enough about the location to portal behind the building, in an alley next to some dumpsters. He takes the stairs instead of the elevator, using the time to psych himself up and try to plan what he wants to say.

It's a mistake, however, because he's panting and sweaty by the time he makes it to the tenth floor. Apparently replacing all his usual cardio with sex wasn't as good of an idea as he thought, fitness-wise. Magnus stands outside of Alec's door trying to catch his breath when it swings open and Alec is standing in front of him.

"Magnus!" Alec exclaims, jumping in surprise. He's dressed in a jacket and scarf, clearly on his way out somewhere. 

Magnus thinks, _a date of course,_ and moves aside to let him through, stuttering out, "Sorry, I— I'll just—"

Alec _looks_ at him, the way he did the whole night at Ragnor's place and repeats his name again. Magnus closes his mouth to stop himself from looking more stupid than he already does.

"What are you doing here?" Alec asks, frowning. "Is something wrong?"

"Why would something be wrong?"

"You look upset," Alec explains. He reaches out to hold Magnus' cheek, brushing a thumb under his eye. Magnus can imagine his eyes are red and skin blotchy, and curses the fact that he didn't check a mirror before he left. "Are you okay?"

The concern in his voice, the way he's holding Magnus' face so gently in the palm of his hand, has Magnus blurting out, "I like you!"

Alec opens his mouth to respond but Magnus carries on, "I broke it off because I like you too much and I can't keep being casual, no-strings-attached anymore. My strings are attached."

Alec looks surprised, but not disgusted, and the intensity of his gaze makes Magnus unable to stop talking, "My strings have always been attached. To you, that is. In a romantic way, not like, like a marionette or s—"

Alec surges forward and kisses him. 

It's unlike any of their previous kisses. Instead of heat and desire it's softer, warm instead of scalding, and his other hand holds on to Magnus' waist and draws him in closer. Magnus sinks into it, resting his hands against Alec's chest, one hand over his heart. It's pounding, just like Magnus'. 

Alec pulls away and Magnus says, "What?"

Alec puts a finger against Magnus' lips, a more gentle version of the universal _shut up_ gesture, and he laughs and says, "I like you _so much_." 

"Really?" Magnus asks with awe in his voice. Alec kisses him again, just a quick peck that has Magnus chasing after his mouth and pouting when Alec doesn't let him. 

"Magnus, I called you _baby_," Alec huffs. "I thought it was obvious and that's why you ended it."

"I thought it was just a sex thing!" Magnus tries to defend himself.

Alec rolls his eyes but nods, "I mean, it _was_ a sex thing but also like... a _you_ thing." 

Magnus hasn't had enough time to fully process all the emotions he's gone through today, but he manages a slightly smug tone as he asks, "A 'me' thing?"

"Oh, shut up and let me kiss you, _baby_." 

Magnus grins at the pet name (and wow, it's _definitely_ still a sex thing) and lets himself be kissed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Truthfully this was my first attempt at smut in years, and my first attempt at smut with more than 1 person ever, so I'm very concerned if it was good or descriptive enough. I welcome any feedback on that or any other part of the fic! Though if your feedback is to stop using so many commas or italics, that's gonna be a no from me. 
> 
> As always, I edit these myself so please let me know about any spelling, grammar or punctuation errors!
> 
> Twitter: @manziniyo


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